Contemplation
December 9, 2007
I’ve had a great time with the bloggers these last few days. Spending time with people who don’t expect me to be anything other than what I am has been very peaceful. Since I haven’t had to pretend to be someone else my head has been clear and I’ve had time to think about the state of my social life. While I’m okay with my life in San Jose, I’m certainly not content and definitely not as happy as I would like to be. What I need is someone who can give me their undivided attention without smothering me. Someone who “gets” me completely and can be there in the dark times as well as the light times. Unfortunately, romantic relationships scare me. I like unrequited romance but, if the object of my affection starts to return the feelings, if I start getting what I want, I have a panic attack and run in the opposite direction. Of course if I can find someone who “gets” me, maybe they can keep me from running.
Anyway, these are just some thoughts floating through my head that I felt like sharing. I want to thank everyone who mentioned to me over the last few days that they still read my blog. I was starting to think I had lost all my readers, and I certainly wouldn’t blame you, so it was nice to know that I am missed when I don’t write.
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